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  Episodes
For Healing, Sane Action is More Powerful Than Sad Stories
The stories you tell yourself are an expression of what YOU believe is important about you. And if you're wedding to saying life is never fair, everyone’s terrible, they take advantage of you, you never get a break –...
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Join Me in a FREE Daily Practice Call
The Daily Practice is a set of two techniques -- a specific form of writing, followed by a simple meditation, that I was shown 31 years ago when I was in extreme distress after a series of traumas, and was barely able...
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How to Become Emotionally "Sober" (4-video compilation)
People who were abused and neglected as children sometimes struggle to stay emotionally regulated. Part of healing is to learn to self-regulate; this is a skill that, in substance recovery programs, is called...
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Self-Differentiation: Interview with Jerry Wise, Family Systems Expert
In this video, I interview fellow YouTuber and Family Systems expert Jerry Wise. He has a deep background in counseling and marriage and family therapy. Now he's on YouTube teaching people how they can separate...
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Don't Let Mean People Destroy Your Focus (#5 in My "Stop Playing Small" Series)
Just when you think things are going well for you, BAM! Someone criticizes you, you get rejected, or you don't get chosen for an opportunity that meant everything to you. A rush of anger, panic and shame rises up, and...
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Some People Have THIS Huge Advantage (#4 In My "Playing Small" Series)
People sometimes use the word “privilege” as an accusation that allows the accuser to feel better than the person they accuse, and even to shame and discredit them. Recently, Dr. Nicole Lepera...
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Childhood Neglect Makes You "Play Small" in Relationships (4-video compilation)
Recognizing your worth after neglect in childhood – where adults literally don’t care for you appropriately, can lead to a kind of emotional “leakiness” where -- even though you’ve created a good life and set goals as...
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Why Being "Fair" Can Be Another Way to PLAY SMALL
If women want to be equal, they should always pay their own share of the bill on dates with men -- or so my mother told me. This is the third video in my "Stop Playing Small" series. In it, I explain what happened...
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The Secret to Getting What You Really WANT
There are two competing ideas in our culture about how you should pursue happiness: One is that anything that happens to you, you have to MAKE it happen. And the opposing idea is that there’s something "unspiritual"...
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Here's How You Can Stop Hiding and Start to SHINE
If you’ve been hurt by others SO many times that you can’t face conflicts, disappointments and sad moments, – that’s what I call playing small. And it stops you from being able to heal or change. Life involves...
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Stop Tolerating People Who Treat You Like S**t (4-video compilation)
A classic sign that a person grew up traumatized is that their life is full of hostile, cruel, and punishing people. If you were abused or neglected, you may freeze up when people are unkind, or lapse into "fawning,"...
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Attachment Styles and the Pain of Ending Toxic Relationships
The problem with romantic attachments, especially for those of us who were hurt and neglected as kids, is that our attachment wounds make us feel so.... attached! Ending a relationship can make it feel like you’re...
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