There's Something Appealing About Partners Who Disappoint

Trauma in your childhood gives you a blind spot that makes it easy to become attached to people who are AVOIDANT – they pull away when you try to pull close, they don’t GET it about being present for someone, or honoring them on special occasions. Avoidant people can do some parts of relationships really well, but over time, they can leave you feeling neglected, disrespected and alone. But what is it about them that makes it FEEL, at first at least, that it works so well? Is there something about their indifference that is HELPFUL to those of us with trauma? Is it even possible to be happy when someone seems to intentionally disappoint you all the time? My letter is from a woman I’ll call Marilyn, and she writes…

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