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Episodes
When You Can't Understand Why You KEEP Making Similar, Destructive Choices
It’s normal for people who were traumatized as children to be drawn to people who are trouble. Maybe feel foggy when you meet someone you feel attracted to, or you rush into relationships, and you ignore signs that...
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The Real Story of Why I Quit Talk Therapy
If you seek help for the symptoms of Complex CPTSD, you will generally be steered toward talk therapy, and often, medication. But these two standard modes of treatment may not be will targeted for trauma symptoms. In...
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Neglect in Childhood Taught You to FIT Yourself to Unacceptable People
If your parents harmed you when you were small, you may have developed a coping mechanism that allowed you to accept mistreatment; you learned to just "make it OK" in your mind. But when this gets carried into...
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How to Take Space From Difficult People FOR NOW (While You Decide If It's Forever)
Getting distance from your family of origin can be a powerful way to accelerate your healing from past trauma. You may be clear you want it to be permanent. But if you're feeling guilty and unsure if you should do it,...
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Expecting New Partners to "Meet Your Needs" Will Push Them Away
People neglected and abused in childhood are prone to fantasize about the perfect person and perfect love. But this habit can separate you from the chance to have a real relationship with someone who loves you. The...
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Hiding Others' Abusive Acts Desensitizes You: That's What They Want
It's as if there is a veil of unconsciousness that prevents us from remembering or telling the truth about sexual abuse -- or acting to defend abused children when we know abuse is happening. In this video, I talk...
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Neglect in Your Childhood Trained You to Pretend You're OK
If your parents made it a problem that you needed their love and attention, you may have have internalized the belief that there's something wrong and dirty and shameful about you and your feelings. In families where...
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Feeling Manipulated & Discarded Is Your Sign to Get Away
When you didn’t get cared for properly when you were little, it’s hard to READ other people – to detect the difference between a friend and someone merely being friendly. So many of us NEED a friend so badly, there’s...
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"Fawning" Is A Trauma Response That Leaves You Vulnerable to BAD TREATMENT
Fawning is when you make yourself small, or act "nice" and like you're not hurt, as a way to cope with mistreatment. It's a fantasy that by being selfless, kind and helpful, you can make bad people be kind to you....
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When You Heal These Behaviors Everything Gets Better
Abuse and neglect in childhood may seem like the worst thing that's happened to you. But many people with CPTSD multiply the damage with a pattern of behaviors that keeps the trauma alive. Thankfully, healing is...
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Life FEELS Chaotic To People with Childhood PTSD, But Control Isn't The Answer
If you grew up with trauma, you are likely to have close relationships with both CONTROLLING people and OUT-OF-CONTROL people. Both cause problems, and both can drive you to have a overly-strong need to control...
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Your Attractiveness Grows When You Heal Your Unmet Childhood Needs
People whose partners have CPTSD often become confused about the meaning of "support." When should you tolerate yelling, ghosting, and intensive criticism, and when is this just too much? In this video I respond to a...
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