As you may know, I have a popular feature on my YouTube channel called "Ask The Fairy," where people send a letter about a problem they're having, asking for my advice, and I answer it in a recorded video that's shared publicly. I usually publish one or two of these videos per week.

I get more letters than I can answer, and many of the letters, though they are fascinating, heartfelt and written with care, cannot be used. I know this is disappointing to the letter writers. And believe me, I'd LOVE to have more letters that are a fit for the channel and the audience!

So I wanted to remind everyone what I'm looking for, so you are equipped to write a letter that gets chosen (these guidelines are shared in the description section under every video, but I can tell many people don't see them).

You can increase the chances your letter will be picked if you follow these guidelines:

Your letter must be focused on a question for me. Some people send me long stories of their trauma, and though I understand the desire to share it, this type of letter is not suitable for the channel.

Questions: I can take questions about challenges you are facing, moral dilemmas, what-is-the-right-thing-to-do questions, "is it just me or is this other person in the wrong" questions, and requests for my opinion on how to solve a problem. Please begin your letter with the question so I know how to understand what you are telling me.

Topics: Most people ask me about relationships/dating, but I look for a balance of topics and that includes social etiquette and boundaries, work and workplace dynamics, friendships, and the quest to solve life problems, and the challenge of living with CPTSD. These are all good topics for the channel. Viewers especially value hearing my take on moral dilemmas.

Please keep in mind that I am not a therapist or doctor. My answers (like all my content) are for information purposes only. If you are in a crisis or in danger, please get professional help! I am not able to provide personal or hands-on help to people in the audience.

How to structure your letter. Tell me the problem/question, and then a little about yourself. Some background can be helpful to understand the context of the challenge you are experiencing. For example, what's the problem? How did things get to this point? What do you think are your options, and what do you suspect is the right thing? What part of this is confusing for you? I especially look for letters from people who are aware and curious about their role in problems they are facing (not every problem is like this, and not every person who plays a role in their problems is willing to admit it). I value letters from people who are open to hearing more about how they might shift the problem.

Keep your letter to about 1000 words or less. When letters are too long, they don’t work well for YouTube (the audience stops watching before we get to the answer).

Please don't share graphic information about sex, violence or abuse. First, the YouTube format is not a good place to open your heart in this way. The commenters can be rough. Also hearing about these things can be too triggering for our audience and for the staff members who help me screen the letters. It is enough to say "There was physical and sexual abuse." We understand that, and its relevance to your story. My approach to supporting people with their healing is not on the part where you process what happened, but where you work on everyday strategies to become strong and fully yourself each day.

Make sure your letter does not have identifying information about you or the people you mention (we will have your name and e-mail address, but will never include that in videos).

And most importantly, please give written consent for your letter to be read and answered on YouTube, by including this statement in your e-mail, “Anna Runkle has my permission to read my letter and respond to it on her YouTube channel, and in other media connected to Crappy Childhood Fairy.” (Then type your full name.)

Providing this consent means that I may use your letter (or portions of the video where I answer it) not only on YouTube, but potentially on my blog, podcast, website and e-mails, as well on sharing platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Substack, etc.

Before you submit your letter, read through it and make sure you are comfortable sharing the letter, and that you’ve protected your own and others’ privacy. Only then should you hit send! The e-mail address is letters@crappychildhoodfairy.com.

Keep in mind that people in the comments section are a mixed bunch. Most are kind and supportive, and you might learn something from some of them. There are usually at least a few haters. We try to notice and delete their comments, but we miss sometimes, and they say some really ugly things about me and the letter writers and people in general. This can really wreck your day if you let them. If you opt to read the comments, I suggest you do what I do about the haters’ comments:

Have a laugh, know that you’re not alone, and then ignore them and be glad YOU have a kind heart!

Thank you! I look forward to reading your letter. Anna