About the Book

Does it seem like no matter how hard you try to fit in, you don’t feel understood, or like you belong? Other people seem to connect easily, but for you,  socializing feels so awkward and stressful that you find yourself avoiding social situations. Or you go through the motions of a connected life, but you never really feel close to anyone, even though you don’t know why.

There is an answer, and in her new book, author Anna Runkle shows you how to heal trauma-driven disconnection and develop what she calls "connectability."  It's a kind of grace, confidence, and openness that some people have, that makes others want to be around them, and that makes them a joy to have as friends. 

You can learn to be connectable! In the compassionate and practical style that her fans have come to love on her Crappy Childhood Fairy YouTube Channel, Anna teaches the process she used to break free from her own self-protective, isolating behaviors she calls "covert avoidance." 

These are the essential social skills you didn't learn at home. Through stories, worksheets, journaling tools and her clear-headed advice, Anna shows you step-by-step how to clear away toxic people and habits, attract the right people, and build the close and lasting friendships you've always needed. 

Perfect for working through on your own or studying in a group, Connectability is the book that's been sorely needed to heal the loneliness that characterizes our times, and create a more loving world, one friendship at a time.

• Do you feel inexplicably separate from other people, as if everyone else "got the memo" about how to connect, but not you?  Connectability shows you how trauma from childhood can leave you with a chronic sense of disconnection  Learn what causes connection wounds, how they affect people, and how to heal them. 

• Do social situations feel so stressful and overwhelming, you find yourself canceling plans and staying home alone? This is what Anna calls "covert avoidance, where you seem connected from the outside, but you hold people at arm's length.

• Stuck feeling awkward or too ashamed to reachou out to others? You’ll get step-by-step instruction to practice "acts of connection," which strrengthen your social "muscles" and help you gradually form positive connections. 

• Have you damaged your relationships with outbursts of anger, or clung to friends friends who mistreat you? In Connectability you'll learn how early trauma can leave you emotionally dysregulated, and what you can do to mend good relatioinships and bring emotions into balance.

• Lacking the kind of friends who bring joy to your life, and are really there for you? This book helps you develop skills in releasing old relationships that no longer fit in your life, choosing good friends, setting boundaries and connecting through  genuine openness, listening, and building trust over time.

• Feeling broken, hopeless and like you just don’t belong? Through lessons, worksheets and journal prompts, you’ll begin to heal the triggers and self-defeating behaviors that have kept you isolated and held you back, freeing you to become your full and real self at last.